Thursday, February 6, 2020

A Sword will Pierce your Heart

Luke’s Gospel on the Presentation at the Temple is a Gospel reading which is bitter sweet for me.  When I received my blog dates, and looked up the readings, I thought oh no, this one is too personal for me.  I’m not sure I can write on it and maybe I should ask for another one. But no, God wanted me to share on this one.  So here goes.  

Several years ago, I started on a year long journey of learning and practicing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola.  I met with a Spiritual Director and a group of people every Saturday at 8am. Together, we were instructed on these exercises, and each person shared their personal experiences on the contemplation of the various biblical readings throughout the week.  We were to spend at least 1 hour a night meditating on that days particular reading, and write down our thoughts, and/or experiences.  

During one of my nightly 1-hour sessions, I was sitting quietly and listening, and by the way, this scripture passage was not the one I was meditating on, the thought came into my head “a sword will pierce your heart”.  Immediately, fear overcame me, and I thought no God, not my son. Anything but that! I quickly put it out of my head and continued on with my meditation. Every now and then I would think about that, and what it meant for me.  A few years later my nephew was found dead of an overdose, and my heart physically hurt. I thought is this the sword? But after some time had passed, I had the sense that this was not the only sword that would pierce my heart.  Four years later, tragedy struck again. My youngest brother was killed in a horrific car accident. Again, I thought ok this must be the sword.  

Over the past several months I have come to realize that yes, these tragic events were piercing swords in my heart, but that there will be more.  Maybe not as tragic as these two, but there will certainly be more pain and sorrow.  

So what can we do?  How do we cope or prepare for such blows?  We all have our “swords” that pierce our hearts during our lifetime.  The only answer I can see is my faith and trust in God.

I thank God everyday for my Catholic faith which has certainly helped me through these difficult times.  I truly believe that God is always with me and will help me through whatever comes my way.  



Reflection by Cheryl Provost

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