The Feast of the Holy Family

The theme that runs through the readings on a Sunday is not always easy to discern. However, On December 29th when the Church recognizes the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph the message of the readings is quite clear. The first reading from The Book of Sirach emphasizes the importance of respecting and caring for parents. In the second reading, St. Paul exhorts children, wives, and husbands to act with kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. In the Gospel reading, the evangelist Matthew describes for us the courage and trust that Mary and Joseph displayed when they fled to Egypt with their newborn child.

The readings brought back for me memories in my life of instances of honoring one’s father and mother. I have an early memory when I was very young of traveling from Quincy to South Boston on the bus and subway with my mother so she could visit her parents. My brothers and I would accompany my father to the home of his parents as he completed chores that needed to be done. Although we probably did not always do it joyfully, at home my brothers and I would cut the grass, put out the trash, or shovel the driveway. We knew that my father worked hard and that we needed to be both responsible and helpful. I supported my mother as she assumed the huge responsibility of caring for my father at home as he slowly died from Gehrig’s disease (ALS). My own children observed me and my brothers as we cared for our mother for a number of years in a nursing home.

Honoring one’s father and mother is not always easy and for many it can be complicated. However, it may be helpful to consider that when we love our parents, we are also loving God. Given the demands and pressures placed on many families today, the readings dedicated to the Holy Family are both timely and valuable. Scripture, prayer, the sacraments, virtues, and love are available to us all and will strengthen our efforts make our families holy.

Reflection by Bob Fanning

How have you grown this Advent?

This Advent has been quite a different one for my family and me. Both my son and I had orthopedic surgery and have been recovering for several weeks. This season has been a different kind of busy for us.   I love the Church season of Advent and I love the secular Christmas season.  As soon as Thanksgiving weekend passes, I have my Christmas to do list for my family.  I love breakfast with Santa, volunteering at My Brothers’ Keeper, going to Christmas concerts at Church, visiting Jordan’s Furniture, visiting Lasalette shrine, making and decorating cookies, going to events and celebrations and the list goes on.   I love it all and my personality is such that I set the family schedule so we accomplish it all.  Lists and accomplishments drive me in many areas of life and I love the feeling of accomplishment even if by Christmas Eve I am very tired. To say this year has been different has been an understatement.    The positive side is that I have been very faithful to my Advent prayer and practices, as I have a great deal of time and I have really put my trust in the Lord to bring healing to my family and guide us through a stressful time.   Wow, that makes me sound great.   Doesn’t it?  

The reality is even rooted in that prayer my peaceful Advent has been in conflict with my guilt and a constant nagging feeling of not “doing enough”.  I look on Instagram and Facebook and I see the world participating in all the activities we cannot do this year.  The feelings of envy and guilt sneak in.  Envy for myself because I love all that stuff and guilt for having a weakness and not being a “good enough mom” who can post the perfect Christmas pictures on social media have taken over my thoughts often.  We have not been able to participate in our usual holiday family traditions.  The drive through light display in Marshfield substituted for Lasalette shrine and Pandora has taken the place of the church Christmas concert.  Many days that has taken over my early morning peaceful Advent, and has left me a little sad, and at times my family too.

When it came time to write the blog – I thought what in the world could I write about that is full of hope, expectation, and the impending joy of Christmas.  I do not feel very much joy.  What can I possibly share?  I looked at the readings and a few thing jumped out for me. Ahaz needed and was promised a sign.   St. Paul challenges us as he often does to follow our call to grow in holiness. Then, we hear the story of Joseph, the model of holy obedience and trust in the signs and calls of the Lord.   Isn’t that what Advent really is supposed to be… waiting for a sign? ….growing in holiness? ….living in expectation of the fulfillment of that dream?  Soon we will celebrate the birth of Jesus, “God with us.”  So shouldn’t Advent really be about taking notice?  What have I taken notice of this Advent?

Then I looked over at the Advent wreath that sits on my table.  It is a make shift wreath we had to put together because I was not at Holy Family to buy one of those beautiful wreaths from the Bible Study women.  The centerpiece of my table is usually one of those picture perfect beautiful wreaths … This year our centerpiece is one with make an old berries wreath found in the attic and candles glued to a paper plate(My husband’s genius!).  It is not perfect and beautiful at all, but I was struck…  The candles for the first three weeks are getting really really low, so much lower than usual.  (We are getting close to fire hazard status with the paper plate.)  Usually the candles are almost new even at the end of the season.  I usually have the best of intentions with the Advent wreath but it usually just looks pretty.  I thought,  what is the difference this year?  Why are the candles so low?  As, I consider this I reviewed the weeks of Advent.   Each time we ate dinner together, we lit the wreath as always, but because we have not been out checking things off my list, we have lit it so much more.  We have gathered around the table, eating meals some prepared by family and friends that have loved and cared for us during this trying time.  We have had it lit as we have wrapped together at the counter and played many board games at the table.  I reflected on the blessings we have been given this Advent and there have been many.  This Advent, I have come to know that it is okay to be and not to accomplish (me pray to hold onto to this in the New Year!). We have stayed up late much too late because we do not have a real schedule and spent a great deal of time just being together!     Among a time of much stress and anxiety, there has been much laughter and love in our home, both amongst us, and from the many who have reached out to help us, support us, and pray for us along the way.  We have learned to be grateful in a new way.

We are lucky that we are housebound an have limited for a very short period, relative to the whole year and in the Spring it will all be a distant memory.   Life, however, is not Facebook perfect all the time and that is okay and its okay to share the less than perfect parts of our story.  Life is messy and if we are honest, we do not need to gloss over the challenges just to show the world our perfection.   In the Gospel this Sunday, Joseph a good and holy man is visited in a dream and listens to God’s will and follows it. Talk about messy, how does one explain that?  Not only does he hear and listen to the Lord, but also he must have shared his less than perfect story of his already pregnant fiancée and the dream that assured him God was with him.  Imagine having the courage to share that less than perfect story so that it could be recorded and all of us thousands of years later could be challenged to say yes to all the Lord has in store for us as Joseph did. 

I have received many blessings, learned many things, and I wait in expectation and hope for Christmas so that I can take all the Lord has shown me this Advent into my year ahead and grow in holiness following the example of Joseph. I have noticed many things that I never would have and I have learned to appreciate small things.  The comfort of my home for one and the blessings of that comfort.  So many people go without that comfort.  I have to come to respect the body God has given me and been challenged to care for it in new ways.  It takes a little less than perfect to see all that is good just the way it is.     Our messy life situations are meant to be shared, as Joseph did, to help us grow and help others grow alongside us.     

How have you grown this Advent?

Reflection by Jeanne Cregan

Rejoice! Hurry the Lord is Near!

Happy Gaudete Sunday, or as I like to call it, Happy Pink Vestment Sunday!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know its rose, not pink, but pink is much more fun.  When I first started in ministry, I was a young 22 year old kid so I often wore dress shirts and ties every day to work to seem older, more professional.  Thanks to this habit, I collected a lot of different collared shirts.  It got to the point I had enough purple shirts I could wear a different purple shirt each Sunday of Advent and, of course, I had to have a pink one for the 3rd Sunday of Advent.  I had my own little Advent wreath of shirts in my closet.  I was always excited for the 3rd Sunday of Advent, not only because I could bring out my favorite pink shirt/tie combination but it meant Christmas is right around the corner.

During Advent, the priest wears purple and we decorate the Church in purple. We do this to symbolize the darkness we are living in.  Jesus isn't here yet, the light of the world is not with us yet.  But each week as we light a new candle on the advent wreath, the darkness lessens, a little more light can be seen as we await the Light of the World.  On the 3rd Sunday of Advent, we step out of that darkness, that purple, and celebrate the light.  The waiting is almost over.  We can see light at the end of the tunnel.  We can rejoice, the Lord is near.

It also serves as a reminder that Advent is almost over and the Lord is near...I know what you are thinking- Matt you literally just said that.  It's true I did, but how you read those statements can be very different. 

The first -  Advent is almost over!!!! The Lord is near!!!! Is an excited exclamation of someone who has truly lived Advent and has worked these last few weeks to prepare their hearts, minds and souls to receive the Lord and are anxiously awaiting His arrival.  The pink (rose) candle is a symbol of joy and excitement!

The second -  well it is more of an oh shoot, how is Advent almost over and Christmas is right around the corner?  This is a worried expression of someone who can't seem to figure out where December has gone.  How are we only 10 days from Christmas.  I have so much stuff still to do!  Gifts to buy, parties to go to, presents to wrap, etc, etc, etc.  That is an expression of someone who hasn't taken the time to truly experience and live Advent.  The pink candle is a giant warning sign of everything they haven't done yet..

If read the expression the first way, awesome!  I can't wait for you to receive the Lord in your heart on Christmas morning.

If you read the expression the second way, fear not, there is still hope! The Church gives us this reminder that the Lord is coming, so if we haven't taken the time to prepare for it yet, we still have a chance to.  I can't wait for you to receive the Lord in your hearts on Christmas morning too! 

Let's try to make our hearts as warm and welcoming of a resting place as we can for the Lord over these next 10 days. 

Reflection by: Matthew Bensman

SO. MUCH. PREPARATION.

It’s Christmas time! Yay! Let’s decorate the tree, hang lights, find those black Friday deals, force your kids to take a picture to put on the card,  check your Elf on the Shelf, buy the teacher presents, volunteer for the class party, get the kids to their practices, check the Elf again, grab the gift you forgot, donate time to those in need, make cookies, go to work, spend time with the family you don’t see often, spend time with the family you see too often, throw the Elf in the garbage (but change your mind and put it back on the shelf), and then finally, before you know it, wake up and Christmas is here!  SO. MUCH. PREPARATION.  So much EXTRA STUFF on top of the already busy lives that we lead.

We spend so much time prepping our homes, families, classes, etc.  to experience the joy of Christmas that we forget to prepare ourselves to fully experience the true joy that only comes with having Jesus present in our daily lives.  In our readings this week, we see that John the Baptist was encouraging repentance and preparing the world for Jesus’s arrival.  But today, the Lord is not “coming soon” like a feature presentation at the local movie theater, or like a distant cousin that only comes around once a year and eats all the apple pie.    The Lord is already here.  He is all around us and within us, waiting for us to quiet our minds and bodies to connect with him in each moment.  To seek his guidance in our daily life choices.  To prayerfully reflect and show gratitude for this life, where we get to love, learn and experience all the joys and sorrow of being fully human.

To be human is to love, fail, learn and grow in spirit (the ultimate goal).   We must have faith that we are here to learn the lessons in life that God wants to teach us to bring us closer to him (and to each other).  In this 2nd week of Advent, we are going to light the “Candle of Preparation” or “Bethlehem Candle” which represents FAITH and is a reminder of Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem.  As Mary prepared for the coming of her child, she had faith in the Lord and his plans for her life.

During Advent, I look to my own mother for inspiration on preparation and faith.  December 7th is her 75th birthday and she is one of God’s most faithful, humble servants. Each morning she prepares herself and unites with God in daily devotion and prayer.  Just 10 min a day in the morning and she sets herself up for a day of walking with the Lord by her side. He is present in her decision making, in her reactions to stressful situations, and in her words.   While I have tried meditation, prayer and downloaded the “Jesus Calling” devotional app on my phone (hey – no judgments on the phone usage), I have gotten so busy during the holidays that I have forgotten to continue to focus regularly on connecting with the source of true Joy, God.    I need to slow down, breathe deeply, sit with the Lord and be thankful for the many blessings in my life.  If I do this as a regular practice, I can be more like my mother and recognize His presence in every moment.  I will be calm, grateful, more giving, kind and less stressed.  And maybe, just maybe, the Elf on the Shelf will make it to December 26th.

Reflection by Gretchen O’Donnell

Advent- Prepare for the coming of Jesus

I feel like I wait all year for Christmas.  It’s always been my favorite season. If I had to explain why I think I would say it just seems so filled with joy.  Christmas parties, gift giving, good food, friends and family… all things that I love. It’s also filled with anticipation; each week lighting yet another candle at Mass until all four are finally lit and Christmas day is upon us.  There is another kind of anticipation during Advent; the coming of Christ. When I read this week’s homily my immediate response was, “its Advent, I want to be joyful, not think about the end of the world”. After further reflection and reading, it makes a whole lot of sense.  The readings at the beginning of Advent are about the second coming of Christ and the readings at the end of Advent are about his first coming, his birth in Bethlehem. What a better way to start our Advent season than to ponder Christ’s second coming and whether or not we would be prepared for it.  Will we be ready to stand in front of our Lord and feel good about our lives and how we’ve lived them? What a better time to consider this? What a better time to make a change, even a small change to prepare ourselves for this inevitable day?  

Advent means “coming”.  Preparing for Jesus’s coming into our hearts and lives daily is what we can focus on this Advent and ultimately work toward being ready for Jesus’s second coming.  One way I like to do this during Advent is to increase my prayer time.  Dynamic Catholic’s “Best Advent Ever” is one simple and quick start to my day as I’m getting ready for work in the morning.  An email is sent to you each morning with a two minute video that include some interesting stories and reflections. This brief prayer time in the morning starts me off on the right foot during what inevitably ends up being the busiest month of my year.  Another idea is a daily rosary. Relevant radio app has a 16 minute rosary I say on my commute to work. Any habit takes 30 days to form, and in my opinion there is no better habit than the rosary. 

Another way to prepare for Advent is to do something for someone in need.  Part of the joy of the holidays is giving.  There is nothing better than to see the look on your loved one’s face when they open that gift you know they really wanted or needed.  The only thing that tops that for me is on Christmas morning, thinking of our family we adopt through my brother’s keeper each year. When we receive our list of family members and what their needs are for the holidays, naturally we shop for them and provide them with Christmas gifts.  What’s more important is we pray for them each day leading up to Christmas and on Christmas morning. Holy Family has opportunities to help others each week, whether it be pulling a Christmas tag from the tree, adopting a family through MBK, or contributing to Christmas baskets with baked goods, etc.. Opportunities are easy to find.   

My last suggestion for preparing for Advent is the easiest of all.  Forgiveness.  Is there someone you are holding a grudge against?  Someone who’s hurt you and you can’t get over it? What relief you’ll feel once you decide to forgive and let go of hurt feelings, resentment or betrayal.  For some, I know this seems the most difficult of all, but in the end you’ll realize the one harmed most by holding the grudge is you.  

Christ’s first coming to us at Christmas as a baby in Bethlehem is upon us.  We cannot control Christ’s second coming, but it will happen. What we can control is Christ’s daily coming into our lives and hearts through prayer and the sacraments.  A wake up call is upon us and it’s time to prepare, will we be ready?

Reflection by Joanna Bishop