Mom, Do You Know Everything About God?

“Mom, do you know everything about God?”

Today my eight year old and I sang in the church choir, while my husband sat with our five year old on the other side of church during mass.  When we came home it was time to paint and carve pumpkins, fold laundry, clean dishes, get our workouts in, run errands and get dinner on the table.  Finally, the boys were freshly bathed, in pajamas and their teeth were brushed.  I had just finished reading a bedtime story on the oversized bean bag chair in their room.  My eight year old takes a running jump onto the back of the bean bag.  He rests his chin on my shoulder and says, “Mom, do you know everything about God?”  Before that moment I had no clue what I was going to include in the blog that I promised to write.  All I knew was that I had to get it done Sunday night, or it would NEVER get written. 

Being a Mom raising a family in today’s church, that was what I would write about.  Do I have all the answers…  Of course not!  All I know is that I do the best that I can.  I grew up Catholic, with a Jewish family on my mom’s side and a Catholic family on my father’s side.  My mom or dad would drop me off at Sunday School every week; and when I was old enough, I walked from down the hill after Sunday School every Sunday to sit in church with my grandmother, Nanny.  Nanny was the only member of the family that attended 10:15 Mass every week.  Afterwards, we often went to breakfast then she took me home.  Once I received my Confirmation, I was a teacher’s helper at Sunday School until I graduated.  St. Peter’s in Liberty, NY was my home church and Father Ed was the only Priest I knew.

I went off to college in 1999.  I quickly found Music Ministry at the College Masses and the Newman Club which was the Catholic club for college students.  The church at college got me through a lot of the struggles that college students have.  However, once I left college, I had a hard time finding a Catholic Church that was a good fit for our family.   I often would travel back to Liberty to take Nanny who was now in her late 80’s to church on Sunday.  I decided to have our local church in Monroe, New York baptize both of our children.  When I went to the church to register my second child to be Baptized, Sister Rose commented on how she has never seen me at a Mass before.  Of course, my heart began to race.  Oh no, I have sinned!  I have been neglecting to go to church.  I had a newborn and a very active 3 year old that can’t sit still more than 5 seconds.  I felt SHAME.  Our oldest began to take CCD classes that were an hour and a half long EVERY SINGLE week.  He fought me tooth and nail every single Saturday morning because he did not want to go.  I would attempt to take my children to church but it was always more than a handful. 

My husband moved to Duxbury about a year ahead of the rest of us.  When we would come up to see him once a month, we started to attend Mass at Holy Family.  I loved the music at the Children’s Mass.  There were children everywhere and no one seemed to mind when my younger child was louder than I would have liked him to be.  I had found my “home.”  I had found Him again!

I’m not going to try to hide it.  If you have been to the 9AM Mass on Sundays, you have most likely either heard my 5 year old screaming at the top of his lungs, just to hear his voice echo in the Church or seen the little blond kid tackling his brother when the priest calls the kids up to listen to the Homily!  Yup!  Those are mine!  Needless to say, I have my hands full.  When we go out to dinner or lunch, my children are absolute ANGELS.  Parent teacher conferences?  Again ANGELS.  Home? Church?  You would expect to see little horns appearing out of their heads.

Being a Mom does not come with a manual.  I thought I had this parent thing covered when I decided to have kids.  I can control a music class of 26 children and hold a choir rehearsal for 85 all by myself. Class management was my thing.  So it came to a HUGE surprise to me when my own children wouldn’t listen to me.  My judgmental family would make comments such as “You need to get those boys under control” or “Your children need you to be firmer.”  Those comments hurt, but I ignored them the best I can.  

There was one extremely challenging Mass for both my children about a year ago.  I left the Mass in tears because I was so embarrassed by the way my children were acting.  I was new to the church then, I knew very few people in the town, let alone the church.  I remember Father Tom stopping me as I was leaving.  I sobbingly apologized for the display of HORRENDOUS behavior from my sons.  He looked at me and said that “There is no need to apologize.  This is the Children’s Mass.  We are very tolerant of young children in the Church.  You are welcome at any Mass.  God Bless you and your family.”  All of a sudden, my tears turned to tears of relief and thankfulness towards my new church.

I am blessed; Blessed with two beautiful yet active young boys.  Today a woman came up to me after Mass to tell me how adorable my younger son was today.  My response was “Adorable? Yes.  But very active.”  She then told me that she knows a young child that has special needs and that cannot be active.  I once again was reminded how blessed I was amidst the struggles.  

Getting back to my son’s question…  Do I know everything about God?  Of course, I don’t.  But I want to learn more.  That is why I go to church.  I am not perfect.  I make many mistakes being a mom, being a person.  But I ask forgiveness and I pray to be better.  Wasn’t that what the homily was about this week?  The two men who came in to pray.  One man took his position in the pew and prayed because he did everything the right way, giving God thanks, while the Tax Collector went to the back of the church to ask for forgiveness from God because he knowingly cheated people.  Of course, I do not cheat people, but as a Mom, with so many things to get done I feel that my children get cheated at times, that they may not get the best of me.  I pray for more balance in my life, so I can be a better mom.  But God knows that I am doing the best that I can. 

I don’t know everything about God, but God knows everything about me!

Reflection by: Megahn Hughes