Mom, Do You Know Everything About God?

“Mom, do you know everything about God?”

Today my eight year old and I sang in the church choir, while my husband sat with our five year old on the other side of church during mass.  When we came home it was time to paint and carve pumpkins, fold laundry, clean dishes, get our workouts in, run errands and get dinner on the table.  Finally, the boys were freshly bathed, in pajamas and their teeth were brushed.  I had just finished reading a bedtime story on the oversized bean bag chair in their room.  My eight year old takes a running jump onto the back of the bean bag.  He rests his chin on my shoulder and says, “Mom, do you know everything about God?”  Before that moment I had no clue what I was going to include in the blog that I promised to write.  All I knew was that I had to get it done Sunday night, or it would NEVER get written. 

Being a Mom raising a family in today’s church, that was what I would write about.  Do I have all the answers…  Of course not!  All I know is that I do the best that I can.  I grew up Catholic, with a Jewish family on my mom’s side and a Catholic family on my father’s side.  My mom or dad would drop me off at Sunday School every week; and when I was old enough, I walked from down the hill after Sunday School every Sunday to sit in church with my grandmother, Nanny.  Nanny was the only member of the family that attended 10:15 Mass every week.  Afterwards, we often went to breakfast then she took me home.  Once I received my Confirmation, I was a teacher’s helper at Sunday School until I graduated.  St. Peter’s in Liberty, NY was my home church and Father Ed was the only Priest I knew.

I went off to college in 1999.  I quickly found Music Ministry at the College Masses and the Newman Club which was the Catholic club for college students.  The church at college got me through a lot of the struggles that college students have.  However, once I left college, I had a hard time finding a Catholic Church that was a good fit for our family.   I often would travel back to Liberty to take Nanny who was now in her late 80’s to church on Sunday.  I decided to have our local church in Monroe, New York baptize both of our children.  When I went to the church to register my second child to be Baptized, Sister Rose commented on how she has never seen me at a Mass before.  Of course, my heart began to race.  Oh no, I have sinned!  I have been neglecting to go to church.  I had a newborn and a very active 3 year old that can’t sit still more than 5 seconds.  I felt SHAME.  Our oldest began to take CCD classes that were an hour and a half long EVERY SINGLE week.  He fought me tooth and nail every single Saturday morning because he did not want to go.  I would attempt to take my children to church but it was always more than a handful. 

My husband moved to Duxbury about a year ahead of the rest of us.  When we would come up to see him once a month, we started to attend Mass at Holy Family.  I loved the music at the Children’s Mass.  There were children everywhere and no one seemed to mind when my younger child was louder than I would have liked him to be.  I had found my “home.”  I had found Him again!

I’m not going to try to hide it.  If you have been to the 9AM Mass on Sundays, you have most likely either heard my 5 year old screaming at the top of his lungs, just to hear his voice echo in the Church or seen the little blond kid tackling his brother when the priest calls the kids up to listen to the Homily!  Yup!  Those are mine!  Needless to say, I have my hands full.  When we go out to dinner or lunch, my children are absolute ANGELS.  Parent teacher conferences?  Again ANGELS.  Home? Church?  You would expect to see little horns appearing out of their heads.

Being a Mom does not come with a manual.  I thought I had this parent thing covered when I decided to have kids.  I can control a music class of 26 children and hold a choir rehearsal for 85 all by myself. Class management was my thing.  So it came to a HUGE surprise to me when my own children wouldn’t listen to me.  My judgmental family would make comments such as “You need to get those boys under control” or “Your children need you to be firmer.”  Those comments hurt, but I ignored them the best I can.  

There was one extremely challenging Mass for both my children about a year ago.  I left the Mass in tears because I was so embarrassed by the way my children were acting.  I was new to the church then, I knew very few people in the town, let alone the church.  I remember Father Tom stopping me as I was leaving.  I sobbingly apologized for the display of HORRENDOUS behavior from my sons.  He looked at me and said that “There is no need to apologize.  This is the Children’s Mass.  We are very tolerant of young children in the Church.  You are welcome at any Mass.  God Bless you and your family.”  All of a sudden, my tears turned to tears of relief and thankfulness towards my new church.

I am blessed; Blessed with two beautiful yet active young boys.  Today a woman came up to me after Mass to tell me how adorable my younger son was today.  My response was “Adorable? Yes.  But very active.”  She then told me that she knows a young child that has special needs and that cannot be active.  I once again was reminded how blessed I was amidst the struggles.  

Getting back to my son’s question…  Do I know everything about God?  Of course, I don’t.  But I want to learn more.  That is why I go to church.  I am not perfect.  I make many mistakes being a mom, being a person.  But I ask forgiveness and I pray to be better.  Wasn’t that what the homily was about this week?  The two men who came in to pray.  One man took his position in the pew and prayed because he did everything the right way, giving God thanks, while the Tax Collector went to the back of the church to ask for forgiveness from God because he knowingly cheated people.  Of course, I do not cheat people, but as a Mom, with so many things to get done I feel that my children get cheated at times, that they may not get the best of me.  I pray for more balance in my life, so I can be a better mom.  But God knows that I am doing the best that I can. 

I don’t know everything about God, but God knows everything about me!

Reflection by: Megahn Hughes

We all need God's Mercy!

In this week’s Gospel (Luke 18:9-14), Jesus addresses his parable to all who consider themselves righteous and superior to those they consider morally deficient compared to themselves.  Having recently completed Faith Formation’s series on the Parables, I appreciate that while the parables teach a universal truth, how this truth is perceived can be seen from various perspectives, e.g. from the perspective of a first century Jew and from a modern day Catholic.  Additionally, upon further reflection, Parables often offer a deeper meaning.  

In the Parable, in order to demonstrate how self-righteousness and feelings of superiority are contrary to God’s wishes, Jesus uses an extreme comparison.  The Pharisee who is self-righteous and considers himself superior to the tax collector would probably be also considered by virtue of his position in the religious hierarchy superior by the general Jewish population.  The tax collector, on the other hand, would have been reviled and probably considered morally inferior by Jesus’ audience.  The Pharisee thanks Jesus for making him superior and lists his positive attributes which may exceed the minimum strictures. In fact he may be speaking to himself when comparing his life to the tax collector. He does not request mercy nor asks God for anything.  This indicates that he feels in control and does not need God. It also shows that he has no understanding of the reality of humility.

In contrast, the tax collector recognizes that he is a sinner and places himself at the mercy of God.  Jesus teaches that this prayer is acceptable to God.  Unlike the Pharisee, the tax collector understands that he is dependent on God’s mercy.  While the Pharisee’s conduct was laudable (fasting, paying tithes, etc.) he appears to think that he is not in need of God’s forgiveness.  God knows his deeds. The Pharisee does not need to list them for Him. He exalts himself with words while the tax collector humbles himself and understands the reality that we need God.  The fact that Jesus states that the acceptable prayer was the one the tax collector prayed demonstrates that, among other things, God’s judgement is not based on appearances or actions. God knows what is in a person’s heart.  

Although in today’s world tax collectors are not quite as reviled as in the first century and there aren’t many Pharisees around, I believe that we still need to guard against comparing ourselves to others either favorably or unfavorably and avoid any feelings of pride when we perform good works, which we are mandated to do anyway.  At times such comparisons or feelings may be subtle and may manifest themselves in anger. For me I know I am particularly vulnerable when listening to politicians, celebrities, or athletes espousing views that are contrary to Catholic teachings.  I need God’s help to keep in mind that only He knows what is in their heart and what really causes them to believe what they proclaim.  This is especially trying when they claim to be Catholic. Consequently, I am always in need of God’s mercy.      

Reflection by Robert Galibois

The Widow and the Judge

This fall, I have been a participant in Seekers II, an adult faith formation group at Holy Family.  The group met several times to discuss Catholic Social Teaching (CST) and the parables that support and explain CST.  With the guidance of our leaders, Linda Crowley and Jeanne Creagan, the participants and I quickly realized the parables are not as straight forward as they seem.  The first glance parables appear to mean one thing but on further careful inspection and research mean something else entirely. Itis only with some persistence the meaning of the parable will be revealed.

The parable in this weekend's gospel "The Widow and the Judge" (Luke 18:1-8) tells the story of a widow who repeatedly appeals to a judge for help.  Every time the widow comes to the judge with the same plea he refuses to do anything to help the widow. Eventually, after an unnamed number of pleas; the judge relents to the widow's plea.   Sadly, the judge did not answer the widow's pleas out of compassion, a sense of righteousness, or even for a fear of God. The judge finally answered the persistent widow because she was a nuisance to him.

Thankfully, the Gospel reading does not end there.  Jesus turns to the listeners and begins to compare God to the judge; God as loving and the judge as indifferent.  If we are as persistent as the widow in our own daily prayer life won't God, who loves us so completely, answer our prayers with a loving heart?  Jesus ends the telling of the parable by saying "When the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" (Luke 18:8).

   If you want a scholarly interpretation of the parable it is easy to find one by doing an internet search.  For me, I did not search for the meaning of the parable but immediately thought about my own prayer life. The things and people I have prayed for, and how the prayers were answered. There have been times when I had a robust prayer life and others when my prayer life was less than what God deserves.  Typically, my prayers center around the health and happiness of my family, friends, fellow parishioners, that all people will know God's love and have strength to live with the circumstances of their life.  

There have been a few times in my life when I prayed in moments of enormous need.  Twice, separated by decades, I prayed for God to save the life of two different family members’.  The first time, my prayer was "not answered" and my loved one died. The second time my prayer was "answered" and my loved one lived.  I have had prayers for my personal health "answered" every day. And I have had prayers go "unanswered" for many years. In the end, all our prayers are answered.  Perhaps not the way we wanted or can comprehend. Regardless of the outcome, I continue to persistently pray because I have faith that God listens to me and knows what is best.  Although, I or my loved may suffer despite prayers I must continue to be persistent. And when all else fails, I hold on tight to the hope that all things will be revealed to me when I am reunited with God and my loved ones in heaven.

My prayer today is that you and I will be persistent in our prayer life and our continued faith in God.

Reflection by Aimee Casale

I need more time to think.

My day is often filled with news, email, social conversation, home and office administration, etc. Our society has evolved to a point where we need to fill every waking moment. It often feels uncomfortable “not to be fully engaged – all the time.”  Now later in life, I have acquired a good bit of knowledge that often sits unused. God gave us free will and intellect. I fear I’m not using these gifts.

Recently when I observed “TV news sound bite” about the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, a parish Priest was Blessing pets which is a longstanding tradition. St. Francis is allegedly to have preached to even the birds and of course he is the patron Saint of animals. Pets often bring great comfort to people who are lonely. Pets are known to provide unconditional dedication.  But there was so much more to St. Francis. He renounced his wealth and possessions, to serve lepers and the poor.  St. Francis believed in a life of sacrifice, poverty, and humility.

As with many young people, especially those coming from a wealthy family, Francis in his youth was given to follow the vanities of life.  Tradition holds that he loved wine, food, and feasts, and lived a life of indulgence. 

After a period of self-examination, Francis began to spend long hours in intense prayer, religious exercises, and in the contemplation of God.  I’m taken with the concept of self-examination.  But unlike St. Francis, I often forget to develop a strategy to change my behavior.

In his autobiography, through self-examination, Benjamin Franklin decided that they were thirteen virtues he deemed important and developed a complex daily process to “habitualize” changes in his behavior. Franklin also found that “… the most acceptable service of God is doing good to man” I’m a simple person and I like St. Francis’ moto “Pax et bonum” Peace and Goodness be with you. Metaphorically speaking, I keep forgetting to get some “dust on my sandals.”

Walking the talk: I have witnessed two examples of “Peace and Goodness” that often comes to mind. I was walking with a Franciscan from the Arch Street Chapel in Boston to a meeting when a homeless man asked the Priest “Father can you spear a couple bucks for an old altar boy?” The Priest replied, “I will give you five bucks if you can say the Confiteor.” The homeless man replied, “how about in Latin for $10?” The Priest accepted the offer at which the homeless man recited a perfect Latin Confiteor. The Francians take a vow of poverty and he reached deep into his pocket for that $10.

In another instance: I received a promotion at work and was assigned to an upper-level manager who was known to mentor subordinates. On my first day with him, he called me and asked me to go to lunch with him. Notwithstanding my enthusiasm for some sage advice, I knew he ate lunch at the Harvard Club every day. We met in the lobby and started walking, before I knew it we ended up at the McDonald’s on Washington Street in downtown Boston. While still engaged in “business talk,” my new boss ordered two “happy meals!” Not wanting to get off on the wrong foot, I too ordered two happy meals. We continued our business discussion and walked back toward our building. My personal thoughts at the point were – this guy is a nut, I’m in trouble. During our walk back towards our building we encountered several homeless men and women. He engaged them in friendly talk and gave out the happy meals (I did as well). We did in fact eat at the Harvard Club. I came to find out, he did that most every day.

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:25–30

Prayer to Francis of Assis

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Pax et bonum,

Bob Lyons

MUSTARD SEED FAITH

Okay true confessions – I am a People Pleaser!  I could pretend to deny it (and recently have), but truth be told, I am sometimes swayed from a point of my own conviction, in order to please or appease the person who is voicing a difference of opinion or suggesting a different course of action.

This Sunday’s readings for the 27th Sunday gave me pause.  St Paul’s letter to Timothy, though short in words, struck a strong chord.  “For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love.”  Cowardice – a strong word that caused my reflection. “…….bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.”  How different our lives could be if we relied on strength that comes, not from our own ego and pride, but from God.  

Then Luke’s gospel states Jesus’ words to his followers.  “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say…..’be uprooted and planted…..’  If we really hear those words in the depths of our hearts, we would readily apply them to us – his followers in 2019.  Our faith is not even close to the size of a mustard seed in Jesus’ eyes. I know for a fact that I often try to accomplish my responsibilities, both at church and at home, without imploring the Lord’s help and guidance. How else can one explain the people-pleasing approach that I keep in my back pocket.   

And then Luke continues with Jesus’ story to his apostles about the servant who is just expected to do his job as has been required by the master.  It becomes clear that with all that is expected of us, our lives could be so much more fruitful if we had more awareness of the Lord’s hand guiding us in all that we do.  How much freedom that would give our weary spirits. Spirits that often feel alone or are afraid of saying and/or doing what one assumes others expect of us.

My prayer…….the words of the psalmist……..

”If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts.”

Reflection by: Mary Keefe